The Lord has called you into a life of greatness. God never creates a person for mediocrity or to fail. The grace of God makes it never too late or to get back on track with Him. Another reality of life is pain. Often it is this pain that comes to rob us from understanding our greatness.
Have you experienced something that was devastating in your life? Do you know what it is like to be rejected by a father, or abandonment by a past girlfriend or fiancé? Have you experienced the pain of divorce or the heartache of someone close to you committing adultery? The list goes on and on: the death of loved one, disappointment over life not going the way you thought it would, traumatic health related events, abrupt career changes, business partner’s betrayal, etc. The truth is that the world is full of pain.
Here are five facts of life:
- Everyone has pain. All of us have pain and much of this pain is devastating. Pain and hurt are everywhere and very few know how to bring Biblical healing to these areas of their lives. The Lord never promised that we would have life without pain. However, what He did promise is to give us the healing agent to all the pain the world has to offer. Inevitable that the older we get, the more hurt there is.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. 29 Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. 30 Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” Matthew 11:28–30 (The Message). Jesus is the only one that can bring healing and wholeness back into our lives.
2. Pain and hurt accumulate and snowball when not dealt with properly. Imagine being on the shore of pristine mountain lake surrounded by its serenity and peace. If you were to look at the shoreline and see waves, you may start to wonder where the waves came from. What was the source that created the waves along the shore? Similarly, you may struggle with body image issues, critical thoughts, bouts of anger, or pornography addictions. These waves are lapping against the shore of your life. The key question that must be asked is, “Where is the source of these issues?”
When pain drops in our lives, it starts to snowball over time and gain momentum. When the snowball crashes, it has matured into a life altering reality. “I just don’t want to be married to you anymore. I am not sure I want to go to church anymore. I don’t really even know if Jesus really loves me.” The unfortunate realities of pain are few of us know how to deal with pain and time will not heal it. The truth is that pain gets worse over time and many of us choose one of the below versus facing pain head on.
- Minimize the pain: “It’s not really that bad.”
- Excuse the pain: “She didn’t really mean it.”
- Deny that it even happened: “What conflict? What betrayal? What hurt? I don’t know what you are talking about.”
How do you deal with hurts that accumulate in your life?
3. Our mental, emotional, spiritual and relational health are compromised by unresolved pain. Imagine your life being likened unto the wonderful board game Jenga. With each rejection, betrayal, disappointment, and loss, another piece of the Jenga tower is taken away. Left unaddressed, it is just a matter of time until the structure of the tower is compromised and comes falling down. Sometimes it falls under fairly routine moves but the response is great.
Accumulated pain and unresolved problems compromise our mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational health. Johns Hopkins University recently posted an article entitled, “Forgiveness: Your Health Depends on It”. It reads: Whether it’s a simple spat with your spouse or long-held resentment toward a family member or friend, unresolved conflict can go deeper than you may realize—it may be affecting your physical health. The good news: Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress. And research points to an increase in the forgiveness-health connection as you age.There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital.
As hurt accumulates, it compromises us.
4. We all deal with pain in some way…right or wrong. In future blog posts, we will take a look at how men and women of God in the Bible dealt with pain. Some choose to move through life at a faster pace to try and outrun their pain. Others choose to think about the wrongs committed against them which moves them into the dangerous waters of bitterness. While others, like King David, choose to medicate their wounds.
According to a recent survey conducted over the past five years by Pure Desire Ministry, 68 percent of Christian men and 50 percent of pastors view pornography regularly. But even more shocking is that 11-17 year-old boys reported being its greatest users. The Church is in the sexual battle of its life. As these boys become adults, the Church will be flooded with porn addicts. Everyone deals with pain in some way. While the pornography is incredibly destructive, many are turning to it to receive some type of healing for the wounds they have accumulated. The place to start is the pain, not the addiction.
5. Being honest and turning toward God is the only way to receive healing. Ever since the garden, it is mankind’s common reaction to hurt and sin is to hide. “Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden” Genesis 3:8. The word “hid” in the Hebrew is krýptō which means “to cover, conceal, or bury.” This is the natural tendency we all have when it comes to things we have done or have been done to us.
You have got to get honest with your pain if you want to be healed. In his book, “Three Battlegrounds”, Francis Frangipane says, “Let us recognize, that the areas we hide in darkness are the very areas of our future defeat. We should realize that the greatest defense we can have against the devil is to maintain an honest heart before God. But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. (James 4:6-7). Satan is terrified by humility; he hates it. To humble yourself is to refuse to defend. The wounds we harbor in our spirits could be healed, if only we would find the strength to come out of hiding and get help. God can heal any wound, no matter how deep, no matter how painful, no matter how long it has been festering. There is healing in the arms of Jesus, but it only begins when we find it within ourselves to take necessary steps. We have to find the courage to ask for help. Confession alone is not enough to bring healing. The wounds are still open and unprocessed. God needs more than brokenness to bring healing; he needs our full cooperation. He needs us to come out of hiding, once and for all.”